the tension and hopelessness of mundane existence grinding you away while you ignore how thin you are wearing because you're biologically welded to your phone and the distraction is the only thing that keeps you from looking at the monsters. But they're watching you.
I am not worried about my phone watching me... all it seems to do is put adverts everywhyere for the things I have literally just bought. so far, no murdering seems to have been captured... but then i dont know what they would do, necessarily, about the murdering
Chilling at the start, careening into infuriating, settling finally into disgusting. Then again, I have studiously avoided conducting my personal relationships over social media for the past 30 years, for just this reason.
This is right up my dark, unpleasant alley. Not pleased you got some threatening emails that inspired this, but damn, you used that experience brilliantly.
The concept is great. Cool move using something you got in your email. Personally I think the story goes way to hard at the start with no sympathy being built for the victim or subject of the story however you want to frame it. Its easy to make a fascist kicking kittens and be like see see the subject of the story deserves this. This to me would be a great opportunity to showcase shame. In this story its almost too easy for the scammer. He gets insight into all these shameful things. Porn addiction check. Almost laid off check. Bad to subordinates check. You give us more and more. They are all good examples and laid out rather convincing. I feel like the scammer should be closer to the story subject more than anyone. His view is so intrusive while at the same time intimate. What would the subject/ victim want to hide? What shameful thing would make you or me pay to keep all the contacts in our phone from knowing our secret. Thank you for writing this. I enjoyed it.
Yes, or scammed character isn't terribly layered or anything, the narrative strategy was very limited in scope. I had fun with this, it was a delightful break from needing depth and imagery to build pathos in a story. It would be a whole different thing to flip it around!
Oh my gosh. This was really good. I enjoyed the pacing; I was almost skipping words to rush forward and see what happened next. Maybe a little vicious about the masturbation but an extortionist would absolutely be that way.
It was a real jolt, though, because I just came to your site after reading Janet's piece this morning. Her gentle story of finding something lost and champagne and birthday cake had me in a very different mindset when I started reading your essay. Remember the ice bucket challenge? Like that, but not as wet.
Jan and I are always like that, non? Sauna and the pool! I loved that this did that for you (I love it when it happens to me reading). Yes the masturbation was unfair… but so was all of it. The guy is just a regular, unhappy dude… (with some rage issues).
It reminded me of a Rush song from the 80s: Middletown Dreams. It was about people who miss their chances or finally take them. The band's lyricist had a huge influence on my life. Outsized influence, really. He died five years ago and it broke my heart. So weird, considering I had no interest in actually meeting him or anything. I just liked knowing the world had someone like him in it.
A successful experiment, to my eye. I found it propulsive and fun.
It feels complete as is, but the voice and momentum leave me wanting more, and could definitely support it, if you choose to continue to play with this. (An email exchange is an inherently modular format, so you could tack on as many additional messages as you feel inspired to, into a cohesive multi-email arc)
When I think of "pushing it into something closer to art," I think of stretching the form even further beyond strict realism (gradually, organically) to a point that meaningfully alters both characters, while also developing/complicating/extending their relationship.
E.g., a good next story event to escalate things would be to have the victim refuse to pay. The reader would discover this immediately through the hacker's next email, "Well look at that. You called my bluff. This happens, of course, but... frankly, I didn't think you had it in you. I watched you quit with a sort of grim satisfaction on your face. I watched you move into the one-bedroom you'd already applied to, burning most of the 10k that should be rightfully mine on deposit and furniture. Perhaps I should've known better; I threatened you with the destruction of a life that wasn't serving you, which only awakened you to its worthlessness. I thought you would cling to familiarity but you were ready for change. I'm usually better at predicting a mark... There's something about you ... But please make no mistake, my friend: I am still watching, AND YOU STILL HAVE MORE TO LOSE."
I love this idea. Honestly, it was just an experiment, but you are absolutely right.. taking it further could be a blast. I would love it if other artists wanted to take it places. Like I told Josh, I do not own this idea... if you wanted to do a thing, I'd be THRILLED.
No! No! I have never been able to read scary books or watch scary movies, so: "It's not you,it's me." That you can draw the reader into the maw of madness is your gift and for the reader to work out.
Ok, first of all :) I was hoping you would troll in that link, so cheers for that. Missed opportunity for a rick roll :)
Second of all, great story.
Third of all, having done some hacking, this felt a bit too much like work for me :) haha So, I'm going to switch into security mode for a second for anyone else that's reading.
If you get one of these emails, it can be scary. It used to be the case you could google the email and it would show up as a scam. As they were all so generic. With AI, I bet this is changing to be more personalized.
Probably not as personalized as you made it :)
It's best to realize this and take a breath. These "hackers" are not really infecting your computer unless you click on something (potentially). They work because if you send millions of emails a day and have a 1% open rate, that's still a lot of people that fall for the scam.
So I imagine AI will be training its tactics based on your text, haha. But sadly this does happen, it is scary, we all fall for some scam eventually, so it's based to pause and talk to people before things happen.
Sorry Kathy! The reason I wanted to write it is how much the email I received jolted me. Really interesting strategy. Luckily, as Josh elucidates, this, at least for now, isn't really possible.
AI is more and more invasive. I wasn't sure what I was reading here till I read the postscript. I don't see how you could not include it. The tension and the terror are both very real.
Here's an actual email (Part of one) Үou'rе iո thе fіnal ѕtrеtсh of timе.
Yоu looκ at photos thiոƙing thеу ɑrе pеrfеctlẏ ѕafe ɑոԁ sо оn.
Onе of thеse рhоtоs hаԁ а dоuble ехtenѕioո аոԁ wаѕ ruո ɑѕ аո еẋecutable filе.
Ţhаոƙs tо thе faсt that you dоn't carе ɑbout yоur ѕeϲuritу I ɡоt aϲcesѕ tо ẏour ԁеvісeѕ.
І'м a huɡe fɑո оf мodеrn ԁevісes, аlмost eνеry lарtop aոd phоne has a сaм'n miκe.
Ẃhаt thіs means fоr yоu iѕ thаt І cɑո sеe еνеrythіnԍ that іѕ hapреnіnԍ оո and iո frоոt оf yоur ѕϲrееո.
Іf ẏоu ԁоubt thɑt, then ԁоո't reаd ɑոẏ furthеr iոtо thіѕ tехt.
I'll ʝuѕt pоѕt all thiѕ shit wіth уоu eνeryᴡherе І cаn aոԁ sеnd іt out tо еѵeryone you ƙոоẇ.
the tension and hopelessness of mundane existence grinding you away while you ignore how thin you are wearing because you're biologically welded to your phone and the distraction is the only thing that keeps you from looking at the monsters. But they're watching you.
I am not worried about my phone watching me... all it seems to do is put adverts everywhyere for the things I have literally just bought. so far, no murdering seems to have been captured... but then i dont know what they would do, necessarily, about the murdering
Let’s just know this is fiction. If we were hacked, they’d basically only see nostrils.
there are bats in my cave...
They know about them now, so…
Chilling at the start, careening into infuriating, settling finally into disgusting. Then again, I have studiously avoided conducting my personal relationships over social media for the past 30 years, for just this reason.
Smart. It is truly a wicked world out there.
This was beautiful.
Diabolical bustard that one
Right?
This was a delicious read! The voice screamed “don’t fuck with me.”
Yes!!!!
This was too real!! Triggered!!! 😅
Again? You are going to end up blocking me1
Never! But I have a feeling you'll block ME after you read the story I'm working on right now. 😅🤣
Uh oh (hand hovering)
😀
😀
😀
This is right up my dark, unpleasant alley. Not pleased you got some threatening emails that inspired this, but damn, you used that experience brilliantly.
Wasn't it a fun ride? (I actually felt really sorry for him).
Damn this is so good!
The concept is great. Cool move using something you got in your email. Personally I think the story goes way to hard at the start with no sympathy being built for the victim or subject of the story however you want to frame it. Its easy to make a fascist kicking kittens and be like see see the subject of the story deserves this. This to me would be a great opportunity to showcase shame. In this story its almost too easy for the scammer. He gets insight into all these shameful things. Porn addiction check. Almost laid off check. Bad to subordinates check. You give us more and more. They are all good examples and laid out rather convincing. I feel like the scammer should be closer to the story subject more than anyone. His view is so intrusive while at the same time intimate. What would the subject/ victim want to hide? What shameful thing would make you or me pay to keep all the contacts in our phone from knowing our secret. Thank you for writing this. I enjoyed it.
Yes, or scammed character isn't terribly layered or anything, the narrative strategy was very limited in scope. I had fun with this, it was a delightful break from needing depth and imagery to build pathos in a story. It would be a whole different thing to flip it around!
Oh my gosh. This was really good. I enjoyed the pacing; I was almost skipping words to rush forward and see what happened next. Maybe a little vicious about the masturbation but an extortionist would absolutely be that way.
It was a real jolt, though, because I just came to your site after reading Janet's piece this morning. Her gentle story of finding something lost and champagne and birthday cake had me in a very different mindset when I started reading your essay. Remember the ice bucket challenge? Like that, but not as wet.
Jan and I are always like that, non? Sauna and the pool! I loved that this did that for you (I love it when it happens to me reading). Yes the masturbation was unfair… but so was all of it. The guy is just a regular, unhappy dude… (with some rage issues).
It reminded me of a Rush song from the 80s: Middletown Dreams. It was about people who miss their chances or finally take them. The band's lyricist had a huge influence on my life. Outsized influence, really. He died five years ago and it broke my heart. So weird, considering I had no interest in actually meeting him or anything. I just liked knowing the world had someone like him in it.
I was a big Rush fan in high school! Getty Lee (is that it?)
Geddy Lee is the bassist/singer. His name is Gary, but his mother’s heavy accent made it sound like “Geddy.” And Neil Peart is the lyricist who died.
the drummer, right? Yes… Geddy!
Yes! Neil was the drummer. Alex is the guitarist/backup vocalist. He sings when he feels like it, lol.
A successful experiment, to my eye. I found it propulsive and fun.
It feels complete as is, but the voice and momentum leave me wanting more, and could definitely support it, if you choose to continue to play with this. (An email exchange is an inherently modular format, so you could tack on as many additional messages as you feel inspired to, into a cohesive multi-email arc)
When I think of "pushing it into something closer to art," I think of stretching the form even further beyond strict realism (gradually, organically) to a point that meaningfully alters both characters, while also developing/complicating/extending their relationship.
E.g., a good next story event to escalate things would be to have the victim refuse to pay. The reader would discover this immediately through the hacker's next email, "Well look at that. You called my bluff. This happens, of course, but... frankly, I didn't think you had it in you. I watched you quit with a sort of grim satisfaction on your face. I watched you move into the one-bedroom you'd already applied to, burning most of the 10k that should be rightfully mine on deposit and furniture. Perhaps I should've known better; I threatened you with the destruction of a life that wasn't serving you, which only awakened you to its worthlessness. I thought you would cling to familiarity but you were ready for change. I'm usually better at predicting a mark... There's something about you ... But please make no mistake, my friend: I am still watching, AND YOU STILL HAVE MORE TO LOSE."
I love this idea. Honestly, it was just an experiment, but you are absolutely right.. taking it further could be a blast. I would love it if other artists wanted to take it places. Like I told Josh, I do not own this idea... if you wanted to do a thing, I'd be THRILLED.
No! No! I have never been able to read scary books or watch scary movies, so: "It's not you,it's me." That you can draw the reader into the maw of madness is your gift and for the reader to work out.
I actually forgot that this text would be sent as an actual email, which is kinda fun and meta... hope my email doesn't get blocked! Ha!
Ok, first of all :) I was hoping you would troll in that link, so cheers for that. Missed opportunity for a rick roll :)
Second of all, great story.
Third of all, having done some hacking, this felt a bit too much like work for me :) haha So, I'm going to switch into security mode for a second for anyone else that's reading.
If you get one of these emails, it can be scary. It used to be the case you could google the email and it would show up as a scam. As they were all so generic. With AI, I bet this is changing to be more personalized.
Probably not as personalized as you made it :)
It's best to realize this and take a breath. These "hackers" are not really infecting your computer unless you click on something (potentially). They work because if you send millions of emails a day and have a 1% open rate, that's still a lot of people that fall for the scam.
So I imagine AI will be training its tactics based on your text, haha. But sadly this does happen, it is scary, we all fall for some scam eventually, so it's based to pause and talk to people before things happen.
Fascinating! I love hearing about the realities behind this... and it's good to hear that I am training the bots to be more evil.
Well well, I found this to be threatening as well as disturbing, and I couldn’t stop reading it. 😊
Sorry Kathy! The reason I wanted to write it is how much the email I received jolted me. Really interesting strategy. Luckily, as Josh elucidates, this, at least for now, isn't really possible.
AI is more and more invasive. I wasn't sure what I was reading here till I read the postscript. I don't see how you could not include it. The tension and the terror are both very real.