I really appreciate how much this story feels alive, how we get to experience the details of her day as they happen and how we only get to know the protagonist as she interacts with her neighbors.
So many great moments! I especially loved these lines: "Grief is just love with nowhere to go," "Crest. Fallen. Like a bird that can’t fly, falling flat on its face." "Faith it til you make it," "I imagine the water, the grit from my body, the dried tears all filtering into the pipes. Bits of me, streaming into the other apartments, like parts of me were in their rooms. Tiny molecules of me sliding through the radiators, the drains, like roots of trees underground."
I gotta get notifications back on for comments... I am responding to this WEEKS later. I love all your quotes (personal fav is the crest. fallen). You totally nailed what I am trying to work on with my narrative strategy. I am currently attempting to write stories where the POV is not just sitting somewhere thinking... her movements were the driving key to the story. Thanks for noticing, buddy.
I am very happy you found the sad little, loving heart of Willa inside of yourself. I love her more than I will ever admit! p.s. try eating cookies dizzy!
Jeez, Sandolore… this story is so heavy. Makes me think of socially awkward rejects and people who are heartless in their lack of care/attention they give those people. Extremely well done.
I am glad you had this response. My feeling for her is great compassion. I want to get her a cleaning lady, pop her in the shower, give her clothes a good wash and give her a huge hug.
mmmm what a rich resonant character this is. what is her story...how we want to know. really intriguing slice of lives here. all sorts of wrongness and badness and 100 hints along the way. really enjoyed this!
There are so many layers to this story and to Willa, I’ve read it three times! It’s like an old house with all the different layers of wallpaper peeling away.
She’s quite unpleasant. Like old cabbage. And the liquid carrot you left in the bottom of the veg basket.
I really appreciate how much this story feels alive, how we get to experience the details of her day as they happen and how we only get to know the protagonist as she interacts with her neighbors.
So many great moments! I especially loved these lines: "Grief is just love with nowhere to go," "Crest. Fallen. Like a bird that can’t fly, falling flat on its face." "Faith it til you make it," "I imagine the water, the grit from my body, the dried tears all filtering into the pipes. Bits of me, streaming into the other apartments, like parts of me were in their rooms. Tiny molecules of me sliding through the radiators, the drains, like roots of trees underground."
I gotta get notifications back on for comments... I am responding to this WEEKS later. I love all your quotes (personal fav is the crest. fallen). You totally nailed what I am trying to work on with my narrative strategy. I am currently attempting to write stories where the POV is not just sitting somewhere thinking... her movements were the driving key to the story. Thanks for noticing, buddy.
Thanks for noticing that I noticed, buddy! 🫠
You just cracked me up.
😂
I love this. There's a little Willa in all of us.
The chocolate chip cookie whirlpool is freaky, though (in a good way). I couldn't decide if it was making me dizzy or hungry for cookies.
I am very happy you found the sad little, loving heart of Willa inside of yourself. I love her more than I will ever admit! p.s. try eating cookies dizzy!
Eating cookies while dizzy might cause cause one to toss their cookies.
Then you can call it the sequel!
Ah, I get it, praying to the porcelain god... which circles us right back to the plumbing theme!
Full circle, Jeannine!
Jeez, Sandolore… this story is so heavy. Makes me think of socially awkward rejects and people who are heartless in their lack of care/attention they give those people. Extremely well done.
I am glad you had this response. My feeling for her is great compassion. I want to get her a cleaning lady, pop her in the shower, give her clothes a good wash and give her a huge hug.
Willa should write a memoir. Maybe this is part of it.
I am sure Willa has a lot to say. How she'd get this way? Right?
Definitely can see her writing more autofiction
mmmm what a rich resonant character this is. what is her story...how we want to know. really intriguing slice of lives here. all sorts of wrongness and badness and 100 hints along the way. really enjoyed this!
Thanks, Nick! She may re-emerge in the future. She has a back story.
There are so many layers to this story and to Willa, I’ve read it three times! It’s like an old house with all the different layers of wallpaper peeling away.
She’s quite unpleasant. Like old cabbage. And the liquid carrot you left in the bottom of the veg basket.
But she is also mushy and sweet like the melted chocolate in a baked cookie! I love her, Zivah! She breaks my crispy little heart!
Awww, bless her sickly sweet heart!
I think she’s one of those characters o love to feel a little repulsed by. If I don’t dream about her tonight, I’ll be very surprised!
Tell me everything tomorrow morning.
Great character work
Thank you, Andrew! I really felt her.
Willa is just terrible but in a way that I can't help but love. You've really done some tricky stuff here. Incredible story. My fave of yours so far.
Wow... big comment there. I love her too. When she's willing to give the cookies to the young boy, it just kills me.
I'll have to finish the rest, I only took a nibble out of the chocolate chip cookie. But killer intro! I got excited when the CD played came out 💿
You better finish up the cookies, they are almost gone!
Oh wow yeah thanks for the reminder! This makes me both miss and also not want to go back to my previous life in an apartment building. Very nice. 🍪
That is a hilarious comment! 100 % Josh!